Whirlwind of Life

I've felt kinda icky today in body and mind, so I'm taking the opportunity to just write. Cool Apa is bathing Starlet (THANK YOU COOL APA!!) which means I actually get a few minutes to myself and think outside my head.

A lot has happened in the past...month?! Holy buckets! My last post was written nearly a month ago, counting down until Cool Apa graduated! Whoa! Well, first off,

COOL APA GRADUATED!!

Hallelujah! Dream come true! I always pictured myself standing next to my graduating husband with our baby in his arm. I just didn't know that I would have graduated with a double major before hand! 

Starlet thought the graduation tassel was a hoot! 

Cool Apa with his diploma!.........cover. Hallelujah all over again!

Oh, and another by the way: I CHOPPED OFF MY HAIR! I did it! I finally did it! I've been drooling over and coveting this hair cut for nearly 3 years! One day I decided I needed a change so I went crazy: bought tons of new, cute, comfortable clothes at a kicker JCPenny sale and got my hair cut the same day! 

Before. The lady getting her hair cut and her stylist doing her hair were giggling at me taking a selfie.

The week before I chopped off my hair I went to Idaho and decided to let my Mom try at giving me the hair cut I wanted. It didn't turn out how I wanted, but it was FREE and an excuse to chop it off: 

After: Awesomeness. 

Do I like it? Well, yes, but. In the morning, I dunk my head under the faucet and then comb or finger through my hair. When I feel insecure and need some security, I miss my hair. I don't think of myself as a short-haired girl; I do think I look cute and I have to admit that my gray hairs are more tolerable this way, but I miss my long hair.

I think my mom said it looks like Grandma Great's hair, which reminds me! 

My paternal grandparents, whom we call 'Grandma and Grandpa Great' because they are Starlet's great grandparents.

I ADORE my grandparents! We grew up just an hour away from where they live so we frequented their abode for birthdays, baptisms, Mother's/Father's days, and every other holiday. They are so special to me and I ALWAYS feel their love. From Grandpa Great, I get my love of fishing in Grandpa's boat and Chevrolet's! I remember lots of little stories my father told me about Grandpa Great whenever I see a railroad or hear about Preston, Idaho. I also treasure the spiritual experiences I've had at Grandpa's knee: him giving my father a blessing, family prayer with the whole family together, and learning how great a quiver full of children is! From Grandma Great, I feel such love! She is such an example of how to really love someone in the way they need. Grandma is SO talented at taking a sad situation and turning it around. She loves giving gifts and hosts the BEST Christmas party EVER! Mmm! I love my grandparents!

Let's see, what else has happened? Oh! We got Starlet a toddler bed! She used it and loved it for about a week, at which point she decided her bed was a scary monster that would eat her....or something like that.

So we switched back to the crib. It makes sense why we switched back though: we switched Starlet to the toddler bed right in the middle of graduation and BYU Women's Conference. Too many interruptions for her brain to handle! (I don't blame her.)

BYU Women's Conference was good! I went with my mother and Aunt Marvelous; those two have been going for 19 YEARS! Supposedly they go to the conference to receive spiritual nourishment and vital encouragement, but I think they do it mainly to party and get away for a weekend. Aunt Marvelous and my mom are dear dear friends.

http://women-of-light.blogspot.com/

Well, I definitely enjoyed laughing with Aunt Marvelous, talking to my mother, eating out every night for a few days, AND taking a break from being Mommy, but I also learned a few things. Maybe I'll  make a post about it later. 

I'm finally going to wrap up this post.  Whirlwind of life is crazy! 

-Cool Mamma Vaterlaus 

1314

You know that was an actual year? I wonder what kind of atrocities were going on in 1314....I don't think I'll Google it tonight.

#14: Vocal Point


Last night we went to the graduation party hosted by BYU for the graduating seniors! Since Cool Apa is graduating we ALL got to go to the party for FREE! Free ice cream, burgers, and concert! I was feeling really anxious, uptight, burnt, and like I had lost control of something. It was a difficult evening to get through: until Vocal Point started singing! Oh! They are a FUN group to watch and listen to! You forget that they are a cappella group and get swept away by the delightful, fun experience. Even though they aren't my Vocal Point (I claim the 2012 batch that competed on the Sing Off) they are still a delight! I realized that Vocal Point is just FUN! It cheered me up and made me feel WAY better.

#13: Safety on the road



Starlet and I traveled the three hours to see my parents by ourselves for the first time EVER! I woke up burnt, stressed, and in dire need of some kind of relief and company, so I decided to go see my folks! I've always wanted to decide to take the drive, pack, throw everything in the car, and just go all in the same day! So I did! We stopped at Babies "R" Us to buy a front facing car seat for Starlet! Holy buckets! I think she travels much better! It was a change though! I felt like she was a more integral part of the ride and the car. It'll be even easier traveling when someone can help entertain her.

Now that I'm home, as in my home of origin, I'm going to brush my teeth, sneak into mine and the currently sleeping Starlet's room, and go to sleep. The only thing that could be better is if my brother, Island Servant, and Cool Apa were here.

Playing Catch Up FINALLY Posted Today

Hello! I haven't written for a while which means I'm behind on my countdown! Buckle your seat belts!

#20: Latter Day Prophets 

This last week was the Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Much of the media calls us "Mormons." It is just a nickname, but works as a foot in the door to talk about who we are and who we worship. As the name states, Jesus Christ is the head of our church. He has given His authority and power to men hear on Earth and speaks through them. They are men, called by revelation, who speak in God's name just as prophets of old. Biannually, they speak to the whole church to give messages of comfort, testimony, warning, and encouragement.

I KNOW that these men are Latter Day Prophets chosen by God to lead His children and help them return to His presence. The Holy Ghost has testified this to my heart; I KNOW it it true.

I LOVE CONFERENCE. I think my three favorite talks were by Elder's Uchtdorf's on gratitude, President Monson's talk on love, and Elder Bednar's talk on sharing our burden's with Christ. Each had an answer to prayer that I needed.

#19: My Uncle

My Uncle lives in the area and invited all the cousins that live close by to come to his house for turkey dinner. Starlet got to play with her second cousin and Cool Apa and I got to chat with everybody. Even though we're all so different, it was a pleasant evening filled with family togetherness. Thanks, Uncle!

#18: Dear Dani



My dear friend who lives in the apartment underneath us is away in CA for the week with Starlet's friend. The past weekend we hung out quite a bit and I realized I'm very grateful for her friendship. She's been someone I can lean on and whine to, as well as someone to be with when Cool Apa is away. I also like how honest and real I can be with her; I like how honest and real she is with me. I'm not afraid to be an imperfect being around her because I know that she believes in Jesus Christ just like I do. And since we both have 18 monthers we're fearless  when it comes to talking about poop, snot, barf, and spit. Dani has been an excellent support for me in my depression.  She and her family will most likely move several states away when graduation occurs, but I hope to keep in contact for Christmas cards and the like.

#17: Starlet Time



For some reason, Tuesday was one of those days where the dishes didn't get done, underwear for the day got washed by hand, and everything else that seemed important got swept away from the To Do list, and instead Starlet and I were just buddies. We went outside, played with her babies, ate supper and lunch together, and wrapped up the evening with sharing a banana split and watching Karate Kid. Mmmm. It was one of those days that gets lodged into the bottle-these-up-forever category.

#16: Ice and Ibuprofen


Wednesday I had a nasty fall as I was trying to get Starlet out of the car. Once I realized I was falling, I positioned my body in such a way that would shield and protect Starlet from as much impact as possible. My left butt cheek landed on my phone HARD and I'm pretty sure I caught myself with my arm and upper back. oh it HURT! The next day I was exhausted! It felt like I'd been hit by a semi truck! (Nope! Just the EARTH!) I've very grateful for ice and ibuprophen! 

#15: Dear Jenny



Have you ever met that friend where you just know you were meant to be sisters and some how you ended up in two different states? That's Jenny. When we get together, we talk warp speed! We lift each other up and drink in each other's awesomeness. Our enthusiasm synergizes into a feverish pitch. Oh! I love Jenny. I have longed for such a friend and I just ache when I think that we are going to separate paths in the next few months. Maybe just maybe she and I will be neighbors! *Sigh of utmost sadness."

To Be continued

21 bottles of .....Sprite on the wall....Moving Forward

Actually, I'd rather say IBC; those are some yummy pops!

#21: Faith in the future

Today, I feel GOOD about my future, which is awesome considering how I've felt with my depression. I don't know where we're going, I don't know when baby #2 is coming, I don't know what our finances will be like, who we'll live by, or what kind of callings we'll have in the church. But today, I have faith in my future. I feel peace about how things will turn out, and I choose to believe that they will be GOOD. Instead of looking at the black clouds on the horizon, I choose to find the bit of sunshine I can.

I choose to look forward with faith instead of backward with doubt. 

While preparing for General Conference today, I read this snippet from Elder Edward Dube's talk, "Look Ahead and Believe," Elder Dube quoting Elder Jeffery R. Holland:

“The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that 

faith is always pointed toward the future” 

(“The Best Is Yet to Be,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 24; or Liahona, Jan. 2010, 18).

This embodies how I've felt recently: look forward and have faith. Trust in God and trust that He has your best interests at heart. Believe that you are better today than you were yesterday. Choose believe that there is more good in your life than bad. Believe in yourself and in those around you. Pray. Read scriptures. Just keep moving forward.

Just like what Mr. Robinson says at 20 seconds or so:

-Cool Mamma

Number 22

Yesterday marked 22 days until Cool Apa graduates. He wet my appetite by forwarding me an email containing GRADUATION INSTRUCTIONS! Eiyeee!! Cool Apa also presented his senior project yesterday: major graduation milestone! I want to continue my graduation countdown with what I am grateful for today:

#22: I am grateful for my life.

Have you ever had an experience that was like looking into a mirror of the past? I had one of those experiences yesterday. The mirror can be a memory, old friend/acquaintance, or a location. For me, it's usually people.

For an hour, and the hours of reflection afterwards, I realized that I have changed. I've gone from student to graduate, from single to married, from a daughter to a mother. And you know what?

I like where I am. 

I like when I am. 

I like who I am. 

I love my little world the way it is! I am a wife, a mother, and a dang awesome person!

I have found my life's journey travel companion! Who that is is never going to change.He and I are building our own little family, the most important unit of society and eternity. I have his family and my family as more constants to my universe. All of us are sealed together. Friends will come and go, but my family is forever.

I love who I am! I like how much I've learned in the past 18 months. I feel more confident, more sure of myself.  I feel like I have the ability to put negativity in it's place. I have FAITH.

Even though a trip in the mirror can be hard, it was very worth it.

-Cool Mamma



http://sites.northwestern.edu/ohalloran/files/2013/09/Kate-Silhouette-KLE.jpg

T minus 23 Days and Cute in So Many Ways

It is officially 23 days until convocation, the ceremony where Cool Apa will receive his diploma. I cannot wait. I can't wait until homework is over, until classes are over, and until all the stress that comes with school is OVER! Ugh! Then I can have my Cool Apa back!! :-(



On a happier note, little Starlet was just awesome today. Oh! She is so cute! Starlet put herself to sleep for her nap this afternoon by blowing raspberries and then laughing! LOL! It was so cute! She also loves watching "baba" which is her word for minions (because they sing the banana song, though Cool Apa did say she said "minion" clear as a bell!) She LOVES watching videos about those little yellow squirts. SO CUTE.

Nothing more than that. I need to write in my journal and stop staring at my HUGE screen! We have a projector, sheet hung on the opposite wall, and a wireless keyboard! Pretty awesome set-up. Makes me feel like a super villain, mwa ha ha ha.

Ooh! I know! I'll do 23 things I'm grateful for, one each day, to help me remember how much I have to be happy about as we traverse the long but short bumpy but smooth path to graduation.

#23 
Connectivity. I really like being able to text my mother-in-law anytime, send a picture of Starlet to my family, or just call my mother to say hi or to cry or to ask her another doctor question. I also like that I'm constantly connected to my spouse.

That's all folks.

-Cool Mamma

Get Busy

I adore my father-in-law, I'll call him Grandpa Gnarly. (I mean 'gnarly' in the "great, epic, totally awesome" way.) He wasn't the father-in-law I imagined myself with in high school: he is so much better! Thinking that some other woman would have him as a father-in-law makes me sick. (Not to mention how I'd feel if that tramp married MY Cool Apa!) I wouldn't trade Grandpa Gnarly for the world!

Epic pose for Grandpa Narly taken by Kristen Hillier

This is my favorite face of his.
He makes many of them.

And this just captures the goofball who is my father-in-law!
He and my brother-in-law pose in the Big Foot pose whenever they can. 

I love Grandpa Gnarly. One of my favorite things about him (there are many) is when he shares his life experience about the gospel of Jesus Christ. We were Skyping with Grandpa, Grandma, and Uncle on Sunday, as usual, talking about whether or not Cool Apa is going to get a job. (We're still waiting to hear from ANY of the places he's applied to.) We expressed our usual stress about the situation. We also talked about my depression and the difficulty with healing. In response to our fear about the uncertainties of the future, Grandpa Gnarly said something like this: 

"You've just got to pray. 

Kneel down and really talk to your Heavenly Father. 

He is your counselor! 

Tell Him your worries and just pray. 

Then get off your knees and get busy.

You've got to get to work."

He bore his testimony that this has always worked for him. I know he's had a lot of times in his life where he didn't know how the future would turn out, but he prayed and then he got to work. And things always turned out for his best. Grandpa Gnarly is a living testimony that God answers prayers and that trusting in Him brings happiness, salvation, and truth.  I believe him and the Holy Spirit testified the truth of what he said.

So with 23/24 days until graduation, I'm going to PRAY. And then I'm going to get busy.

Isn't Grandpa Gnarly cool?

-Cool Mamma