Not in Arizona Anymore

Over the past three months I've had to explain something that I'm FINALLY going to explain to the world, well, the bits of the world my social media touches:

We're not in Arizona anymore, Toto.
We're back in Idaho.

"Idaho?!"

Yes. Idaho.  Let me answer all your questions I can think up and then I shall explain.

Yes, we were in Boise and Cool Apa lost his job.
Yes, we went to Arizona. We felt very strongly prompted to go so we did.
Not only did we go to Arizona, we MOVED to Arizona. No, we did not go down for a job. We just went down because we felt like that was where we needed to be.
No, Cool Apa didn't get a job while down there.
No, Cool Apa didn't get a job in Idaho .
Yes, most of our stuff is still in Arizona.
Yes, I know we picked a record setting winter to be up north.

"So if a job didn't bring you up here, what did? If you felt like Arizona was the promised land why are you up north? "

Me. Cool Mamma.

As I mentioned in our xerox post, within a week of our Arizona arrival, my stress level sky rocketed and my depression nose dived;  after all, we'd just undergone a huge life change and I was FAR away from home. Every one was wonderful and offered hands of friendship and loved us. I just needed to come home.

So my wonderful Knight in shining armor brought me home.  My passionate desire and huge efforts NOT to be the typical wife who needs to be near her mother have been greatly disappointed, especially in times of great emotional and life altering upheaval.
(I spent 25% of Starlet's first year of life in Idaho with my parents so I didn't have to adjust to motherhood and starring down the barrel of my depression alone.*) So we are home, at my home. I'm so very grateful to be home.

I deeply miss having a home of my own. I can't even explain how badly I want our own place and Cool Apa to have a job. Trials teach us valuable lessons and one lesson I've learned: always be thankful for the home that you have stewardship over and take care of and take care of it well. Be proud in your role as homemaker.

Another lesson from this trial, I will finally, freely admit out loud  that I want to live near my family, like within a three hours' drive or closer to my family. I really want to live in Idaho, so badly! And I'll admit it! Finally.

I don't know when this will end. I don't know what else I/we need to/will learn. I am clinging onto faith, hope, and even just a desire to believe that God has a plan and will bless us perfectly. I cling to faith even when it's so hard on the days I don't feel the burn of hope in my heart. It'll  come. It just HAS to!

Oiy. Heavy post, but there you have it, Toto. We're not in Arizona anymore.

-Cool Mamma



*Yes I had Cool Apa but he was a student swimming in homework and a job to support his new little family.