Not in Arizona Anymore

Over the past three months I've had to explain something that I'm FINALLY going to explain to the world, well, the bits of the world my social media touches:

We're not in Arizona anymore, Toto.
We're back in Idaho.

"Idaho?!"

Yes. Idaho.  Let me answer all your questions I can think up and then I shall explain.

Yes, we were in Boise and Cool Apa lost his job.
Yes, we went to Arizona. We felt very strongly prompted to go so we did.
Not only did we go to Arizona, we MOVED to Arizona. No, we did not go down for a job. We just went down because we felt like that was where we needed to be.
No, Cool Apa didn't get a job while down there.
No, Cool Apa didn't get a job in Idaho .
Yes, most of our stuff is still in Arizona.
Yes, I know we picked a record setting winter to be up north.

"So if a job didn't bring you up here, what did? If you felt like Arizona was the promised land why are you up north? "

Me. Cool Mamma.

As I mentioned in our xerox post, within a week of our Arizona arrival, my stress level sky rocketed and my depression nose dived;  after all, we'd just undergone a huge life change and I was FAR away from home. Every one was wonderful and offered hands of friendship and loved us. I just needed to come home.

So my wonderful Knight in shining armor brought me home.  My passionate desire and huge efforts NOT to be the typical wife who needs to be near her mother have been greatly disappointed, especially in times of great emotional and life altering upheaval.
(I spent 25% of Starlet's first year of life in Idaho with my parents so I didn't have to adjust to motherhood and starring down the barrel of my depression alone.*) So we are home, at my home. I'm so very grateful to be home.

I deeply miss having a home of my own. I can't even explain how badly I want our own place and Cool Apa to have a job. Trials teach us valuable lessons and one lesson I've learned: always be thankful for the home that you have stewardship over and take care of and take care of it well. Be proud in your role as homemaker.

Another lesson from this trial, I will finally, freely admit out loud  that I want to live near my family, like within a three hours' drive or closer to my family. I really want to live in Idaho, so badly! And I'll admit it! Finally.

I don't know when this will end. I don't know what else I/we need to/will learn. I am clinging onto faith, hope, and even just a desire to believe that God has a plan and will bless us perfectly. I cling to faith even when it's so hard on the days I don't feel the burn of hope in my heart. It'll  come. It just HAS to!

Oiy. Heavy post, but there you have it, Toto. We're not in Arizona anymore.

-Cool Mamma



*Yes I had Cool Apa but he was a student swimming in homework and a job to support his new little family.

Christmas

Isn't Christmas just the best? I LOVE Christmas. My Christmas mood was a little deflated, hopefully due to the current circumstances and not other reasons, but I enjoyed Christmas day nonetheless.

I had to change my Facebook picture to a lama
because I lost a silly challenge. I drew this on my phone!

Christmas is so much more enjoyable with children! I'm sure like most families, we spent too much on Christmas this year. While making my Christmas list I had to scrape the bottom of the barrel trying to figure out what *I* wanted; I've officially grown up and just love making Christmas happy for others. It's a delight spoiling the girls with toys they'll love and such a thrill to try and find or make a cheap, yet meaningful present.

Christmas Eve we had my family's traditional Christmas dinner: clam chowder (best out there, pretty sure.) Clam chowder has never been my favorite due to the little, chewy erasers they claim are clams so instead, in our Vatervaar, Team Vaterlaus family we have a different soup (depends on the year) with bread bowls. This tradition came to pass on our honeymoon, actually. Cool Apa and I enjoyed a DELICIOUS bread bowl at Boudin Sourdough factory on the pier in San Francisco. Mmmmm! So delicious. This year, however, was just classic Larsen clam chowder.

Another Larsen family tradition is acting out the Nativity, the Christmas story from the bible, which we decided to do for the first time in our marriage! Starlet was our casting director and Grace our producer in charge of time frame, meaning, because of her we needed to keep it to about five minutes max! A first for our family and for Cool Apa which was delightful! I've wondered if that would be a tradition we carried on into our family; we have yet to see if it sticks. I've loved doing it because I feel the Spirit so strongly testifying of Jesus Christ. Hearing President Eyring sweetly reminisce about when he and his family had their own Christmas Eve pageant makes me want to make similar memories with my children and help them feel the Spirit as well.

Gpa Guru as narrator

Cool Apa as Joseph

My mother, the angel, telling the Mickey-Mouse clad shepherds about Jesus.

Aunt Awesome, the wise "man" riding her elephant into Bethlehem.

In a few years, the days of 6 AM Christmas mornings may come again, but not this year!! Oh what a delightful morning! And as Larsen tradition we opened stockings, ate breakfast (fun cereals, a Team Vaterlaus tradition), got dressed/showered except for the girls,

Posing for camera with cheek full of candy.

Tiaras were a big hit.

Cereal before presents....

Watching Aunt Awesome open her stocking.
Please note they are both on their toes!

My stocking present, me avoiding a double chin.

and then finally, FINALLY, after waiting for Grandpa to finish snowblowing ALL the snow  (which caused church to be canceled), we got to open presents

Evening, obviously, but lots of snow.

Notice our neighbor's driveway across the street.

Between us and both grandmas we accidentally coordinated to make a princess theme! Tiaras in the stockings, castle tent, dress up dresses, and stick horses! Ha! The girls also got some individual, non princess toys and thoroughly enjoyed Christmas,  and were of course super spoiled.

Car mat (I still need to finish) from Aunt Awesome. It was a hit.

Cool Apa setting up the princess tent.

Princesses :)

That pose!! I'm sad the picture is blurry.

Two princesses. Love my girls!

Cool Apa enjoyed his pro starter yo-yo, which he ordered and I wrapped, lame I know, and had three yoyo tricks down by the end of the day. I did manage to surprise him by getting him a new Pebble watch!! (Thank you for helping me, CCG.)

Look at that smile.

Figuring out what it is...

"What!? No way!"

Cool Apa proved yet again how supportive and kind husband he is and gave me this AWESOME French Lanier on site easel; it starts as an awkward suitcase and turns into an easel with a drawer, pallette, and adjustable easel! Cool Apa has always supported my art which is so cool. I need to thank him by using it! (Time and space, mostly space, hinder me.)

We finished off the day by Skyping our Arizona grandparents and showing off presents and yoyo tricks. They told us about Skyping Uncle Lima on his mission and showed off their presents. The whole day tired-out Starlet and Grace. I'd say successful Christmas!

Nap time with new Barney.

Starlet konked-out while watching a movie. 

Snoooooze 

I know Jesus Christ lives. The whole world takes a break from being mean in December because they can feel the Spirit of Christ. He will help me, help us, have faith and get through our trials.

Happy Holidays!

-Cool Mamma