1314

You know that was an actual year? I wonder what kind of atrocities were going on in 1314....I don't think I'll Google it tonight.

#14: Vocal Point


Last night we went to the graduation party hosted by BYU for the graduating seniors! Since Cool Apa is graduating we ALL got to go to the party for FREE! Free ice cream, burgers, and concert! I was feeling really anxious, uptight, burnt, and like I had lost control of something. It was a difficult evening to get through: until Vocal Point started singing! Oh! They are a FUN group to watch and listen to! You forget that they are a cappella group and get swept away by the delightful, fun experience. Even though they aren't my Vocal Point (I claim the 2012 batch that competed on the Sing Off) they are still a delight! I realized that Vocal Point is just FUN! It cheered me up and made me feel WAY better.

#13: Safety on the road



Starlet and I traveled the three hours to see my parents by ourselves for the first time EVER! I woke up burnt, stressed, and in dire need of some kind of relief and company, so I decided to go see my folks! I've always wanted to decide to take the drive, pack, throw everything in the car, and just go all in the same day! So I did! We stopped at Babies "R" Us to buy a front facing car seat for Starlet! Holy buckets! I think she travels much better! It was a change though! I felt like she was a more integral part of the ride and the car. It'll be even easier traveling when someone can help entertain her.

Now that I'm home, as in my home of origin, I'm going to brush my teeth, sneak into mine and the currently sleeping Starlet's room, and go to sleep. The only thing that could be better is if my brother, Island Servant, and Cool Apa were here.

Playing Catch Up FINALLY Posted Today

Hello! I haven't written for a while which means I'm behind on my countdown! Buckle your seat belts!

#20: Latter Day Prophets 

This last week was the Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Much of the media calls us "Mormons." It is just a nickname, but works as a foot in the door to talk about who we are and who we worship. As the name states, Jesus Christ is the head of our church. He has given His authority and power to men hear on Earth and speaks through them. They are men, called by revelation, who speak in God's name just as prophets of old. Biannually, they speak to the whole church to give messages of comfort, testimony, warning, and encouragement.

I KNOW that these men are Latter Day Prophets chosen by God to lead His children and help them return to His presence. The Holy Ghost has testified this to my heart; I KNOW it it true.

I LOVE CONFERENCE. I think my three favorite talks were by Elder's Uchtdorf's on gratitude, President Monson's talk on love, and Elder Bednar's talk on sharing our burden's with Christ. Each had an answer to prayer that I needed.

#19: My Uncle

My Uncle lives in the area and invited all the cousins that live close by to come to his house for turkey dinner. Starlet got to play with her second cousin and Cool Apa and I got to chat with everybody. Even though we're all so different, it was a pleasant evening filled with family togetherness. Thanks, Uncle!

#18: Dear Dani



My dear friend who lives in the apartment underneath us is away in CA for the week with Starlet's friend. The past weekend we hung out quite a bit and I realized I'm very grateful for her friendship. She's been someone I can lean on and whine to, as well as someone to be with when Cool Apa is away. I also like how honest and real I can be with her; I like how honest and real she is with me. I'm not afraid to be an imperfect being around her because I know that she believes in Jesus Christ just like I do. And since we both have 18 monthers we're fearless  when it comes to talking about poop, snot, barf, and spit. Dani has been an excellent support for me in my depression.  She and her family will most likely move several states away when graduation occurs, but I hope to keep in contact for Christmas cards and the like.

#17: Starlet Time



For some reason, Tuesday was one of those days where the dishes didn't get done, underwear for the day got washed by hand, and everything else that seemed important got swept away from the To Do list, and instead Starlet and I were just buddies. We went outside, played with her babies, ate supper and lunch together, and wrapped up the evening with sharing a banana split and watching Karate Kid. Mmmm. It was one of those days that gets lodged into the bottle-these-up-forever category.

#16: Ice and Ibuprofen


Wednesday I had a nasty fall as I was trying to get Starlet out of the car. Once I realized I was falling, I positioned my body in such a way that would shield and protect Starlet from as much impact as possible. My left butt cheek landed on my phone HARD and I'm pretty sure I caught myself with my arm and upper back. oh it HURT! The next day I was exhausted! It felt like I'd been hit by a semi truck! (Nope! Just the EARTH!) I've very grateful for ice and ibuprophen! 

#15: Dear Jenny



Have you ever met that friend where you just know you were meant to be sisters and some how you ended up in two different states? That's Jenny. When we get together, we talk warp speed! We lift each other up and drink in each other's awesomeness. Our enthusiasm synergizes into a feverish pitch. Oh! I love Jenny. I have longed for such a friend and I just ache when I think that we are going to separate paths in the next few months. Maybe just maybe she and I will be neighbors! *Sigh of utmost sadness."

To Be continued

21 bottles of .....Sprite on the wall....Moving Forward

Actually, I'd rather say IBC; those are some yummy pops!

#21: Faith in the future

Today, I feel GOOD about my future, which is awesome considering how I've felt with my depression. I don't know where we're going, I don't know when baby #2 is coming, I don't know what our finances will be like, who we'll live by, or what kind of callings we'll have in the church. But today, I have faith in my future. I feel peace about how things will turn out, and I choose to believe that they will be GOOD. Instead of looking at the black clouds on the horizon, I choose to find the bit of sunshine I can.

I choose to look forward with faith instead of backward with doubt. 

While preparing for General Conference today, I read this snippet from Elder Edward Dube's talk, "Look Ahead and Believe," Elder Dube quoting Elder Jeffery R. Holland:

“The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that 

faith is always pointed toward the future” 

(“The Best Is Yet to Be,” Ensign, Jan. 2010, 24; or Liahona, Jan. 2010, 18).

This embodies how I've felt recently: look forward and have faith. Trust in God and trust that He has your best interests at heart. Believe that you are better today than you were yesterday. Choose believe that there is more good in your life than bad. Believe in yourself and in those around you. Pray. Read scriptures. Just keep moving forward.

Just like what Mr. Robinson says at 20 seconds or so:

-Cool Mamma

Number 22

Yesterday marked 22 days until Cool Apa graduates. He wet my appetite by forwarding me an email containing GRADUATION INSTRUCTIONS! Eiyeee!! Cool Apa also presented his senior project yesterday: major graduation milestone! I want to continue my graduation countdown with what I am grateful for today:

#22: I am grateful for my life.

Have you ever had an experience that was like looking into a mirror of the past? I had one of those experiences yesterday. The mirror can be a memory, old friend/acquaintance, or a location. For me, it's usually people.

For an hour, and the hours of reflection afterwards, I realized that I have changed. I've gone from student to graduate, from single to married, from a daughter to a mother. And you know what?

I like where I am. 

I like when I am. 

I like who I am. 

I love my little world the way it is! I am a wife, a mother, and a dang awesome person!

I have found my life's journey travel companion! Who that is is never going to change.He and I are building our own little family, the most important unit of society and eternity. I have his family and my family as more constants to my universe. All of us are sealed together. Friends will come and go, but my family is forever.

I love who I am! I like how much I've learned in the past 18 months. I feel more confident, more sure of myself.  I feel like I have the ability to put negativity in it's place. I have FAITH.

Even though a trip in the mirror can be hard, it was very worth it.

-Cool Mamma



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T minus 23 Days and Cute in So Many Ways

It is officially 23 days until convocation, the ceremony where Cool Apa will receive his diploma. I cannot wait. I can't wait until homework is over, until classes are over, and until all the stress that comes with school is OVER! Ugh! Then I can have my Cool Apa back!! :-(



On a happier note, little Starlet was just awesome today. Oh! She is so cute! Starlet put herself to sleep for her nap this afternoon by blowing raspberries and then laughing! LOL! It was so cute! She also loves watching "baba" which is her word for minions (because they sing the banana song, though Cool Apa did say she said "minion" clear as a bell!) She LOVES watching videos about those little yellow squirts. SO CUTE.

Nothing more than that. I need to write in my journal and stop staring at my HUGE screen! We have a projector, sheet hung on the opposite wall, and a wireless keyboard! Pretty awesome set-up. Makes me feel like a super villain, mwa ha ha ha.

Ooh! I know! I'll do 23 things I'm grateful for, one each day, to help me remember how much I have to be happy about as we traverse the long but short bumpy but smooth path to graduation.

#23 
Connectivity. I really like being able to text my mother-in-law anytime, send a picture of Starlet to my family, or just call my mother to say hi or to cry or to ask her another doctor question. I also like that I'm constantly connected to my spouse.

That's all folks.

-Cool Mamma

Get Busy

I adore my father-in-law, I'll call him Grandpa Gnarly. (I mean 'gnarly' in the "great, epic, totally awesome" way.) He wasn't the father-in-law I imagined myself with in high school: he is so much better! Thinking that some other woman would have him as a father-in-law makes me sick. (Not to mention how I'd feel if that tramp married MY Cool Apa!) I wouldn't trade Grandpa Gnarly for the world!

Epic pose for Grandpa Narly taken by Kristen Hillier

This is my favorite face of his.
He makes many of them.

And this just captures the goofball who is my father-in-law!
He and my brother-in-law pose in the Big Foot pose whenever they can. 

I love Grandpa Gnarly. One of my favorite things about him (there are many) is when he shares his life experience about the gospel of Jesus Christ. We were Skyping with Grandpa, Grandma, and Uncle on Sunday, as usual, talking about whether or not Cool Apa is going to get a job. (We're still waiting to hear from ANY of the places he's applied to.) We expressed our usual stress about the situation. We also talked about my depression and the difficulty with healing. In response to our fear about the uncertainties of the future, Grandpa Gnarly said something like this: 

"You've just got to pray. 

Kneel down and really talk to your Heavenly Father. 

He is your counselor! 

Tell Him your worries and just pray. 

Then get off your knees and get busy.

You've got to get to work."

He bore his testimony that this has always worked for him. I know he's had a lot of times in his life where he didn't know how the future would turn out, but he prayed and then he got to work. And things always turned out for his best. Grandpa Gnarly is a living testimony that God answers prayers and that trusting in Him brings happiness, salvation, and truth.  I believe him and the Holy Spirit testified the truth of what he said.

So with 23/24 days until graduation, I'm going to PRAY. And then I'm going to get busy.

Isn't Grandpa Gnarly cool?

-Cool Mamma

Virtuous Ruby Woman

This post was started on 31 March 2014.

One of my favorite passages of scripture is found in Proverbs 31:10-31. I remember studying it in Young Women's, reading it with the mind set, "Stay sexually pure and virtuous so I can marry in the temple."

Well, I've been married in the temple for over two and a half years now, and I still love the passage. But it takes on different meaning for me now. 

I invite you to read through it for a moment. What sticks out to you? 

The last time I studied this passage, this is what stuck out to me:

"She seeketh.."

"She riseth...and giveth..."

"She layeth...."

"She stretcheth .... she reacheth...."

"She is not afraid..."

"She maketh..."

"She openeth..."

"She looketh..."

Notice something? Many of the verses describing a virtuous woman use verbs. I think you can sum up all of these descriptions into one quality:

A virtuous woman is not idle.

I felt GOOD yesterday. I do think my current cocktail of medication is working, and I do think the fact that Cool Apa has 23/24 days until graduation!! helps as well, but I think I felt good because I was industrious like the woman described in Proverbs. 

She labored for her household.

She clothed and fed her family.

She served those in need.

I worked yesterday, really worked. I planned out my day and made realistic goals of what could be accomplished; I completed nearly everyone of them! And you know what? They were a lot like the woman in Proverbs! 

I labored for my house.

I cleaned clothes, washed dishes, and made food for my family.

I got to visit teach AND run an errand for a new mother in my ward.

I FELT GREAT! 

I think the virtue of work makes us attractive, trustworthy, and happy. Sadly, many people don't see it as a virtue or are just too lazy or afraid to give it a shot. For a long time, I allowed my depression to be a scapegoat for doing work. I thought, "I need to be happy and a clean house isn't going to make me happy. I'm going to watch a TV show instead." or "Part of the reason I am depressed is because I stress out too much about the little things like dishes, laundry, etc. so I'm not going to stress about them; in fact, I'm not going to do them." Boy I was wrong! 

I will be the first to admit that depression sucks your motivation, which is another reason why I haven't worked like I feel like I need to. However, doing something helps. Working on making my home a happy place to live and a place where the Holy Ghost can reside, gives me a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. By doing so, I took care of those around me. 

I ended yesterday feeling like a 1,000 rubies! I felt like a virtuous ruby woman! 

-Cool Mamma 

http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/idahofalls/gallery/images/idaho-falls-mormon-temple4.jpg

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