These past few weeks have been, interesting, and actually really cool. In the last two weeks I managed to 'pick myself up' and start thinking more positively. I also stopped going to my therapist. THAT HELPED. Turns out, I really didn't do well with their style of therapy. I was so SICK of focusing on the negative in my life: there will always be negative in my life! Hence the post about the knots! I decided, "I'm DONE!"
I'm done with therapy, for now.
I'm done excessively fussing over my health.
I'm done worrying whether or not my medication is working; we'll figure that out.
I'm done obsessing about the negative experiences in my life!
I'm done focusing the negative.
Baring the emotional scars and chemical road blocks to feeling happy, I believe that sometimes in life, we just need to choose to be happy. Choose to think about the positive. For me, I need to choose to believe:
1. Heavenly Father really does have my best interests at heart.
2. I have an excellent marriage.
3. My daughter is a blessing, not a burden. Motherhood really is my greatest mission.
4. I am a wonderful person.
5. The future is bright, exciting, and full of opportunities for me to fulfill my dreams.
Those are just a few of the thoughts I've had. Thankfully, I'm on a good enough mix of medications that I'm able to think this way. It's more of a fight, but now it's a REAL fight. It's not like those dumb fights where the older sibling is keeping the younger sibling an arm's length away such that the younger isn't accomplishing anything: it's really a fight and I'm GOING TO WIN!
This life is about using our agency and I'm going to use it to
CHOOSE the happy
CHOOSE the hope
CHOOSE the positive
CHOOSE the light
This little diddy summarizes what I've learned and provides and excellent one-line sermon!
-Cool Mamma
Good for you! I think that's the first step (well, may right after the one about wanting to be happy and thinking it just might be possible someday.)
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